Kailyn Frederick
The Pornstar and his Asexual Partner:
It’s your bed:
The only bed I can crawl into and be satisfied.
The only one I’m allowed to be fully clothed in
Yet still be so raw
My naked self.
It is said that sex creates soul ties,
But knots can become unraveled.
The only thing I know is
Just breathing you in satisfies an ache
That has not been eased previous.
You expose yourself to the cold to reach for me,
I collapse against you:
An implosion amongst the stars,
Penetration of a seedling through the dirt—
The most natural feelings in the world.
Our clothes never come off,
But I can feel myself unfurl in your arms
Like I’m a virgin giving you a sacred part
Untouched
Roots finally having a place to latch onto.
Before these arms around me,
I’ve never been treated so softly
Or listened to so intently—
This body that was made to make others scream
Is now being handled with gardener’s hands.
With you I’m now a modest honeysuckle:
Swaying in the sunshine winds you softly breathe out;
Sweep me up fully,
I don’t mind if you knock me about—
Any fate by your hand is worth living out.
TW: Infidelity, Religion
The Snake and the Apple:
I can see sin as your body strains against clothes—
The carnal desire to take a bite out of your flesh,
My whole mouth aches at the roots
As if I could touch you with my very bones.
I worship you with every poison bite;
Drunk and satiated
Sweet hisses in your ear
Warmth finally floods my blood.
I snake my arms around you
Tight in an infinite loop,
Our velvet bodies coiling over and over,
Until we cannot be separated;
Sweet sacrilege shed off only for a moment
As I smother you with my love—
Not enough to choke
But enough to drown.
Adam has long since been banished from your garden
But impiety remains hidden from a blind God;
How long must I be Eve for you,
My forbidden fruit?
In the calm of the aftermath,
I taste the air that’s poignant of you––
Your holy band a shackle,
Slither off with me left alone.
Affirmations I Prayed in my Grandmother’s Mirror:
I am one with my body.
Spirit, fill the gaps—
Fully expand as easy as breathing
No space between my soul
And the skin of my fingers.
Let me bloat with the power of being,
‘Fore I am present.
I am pressed against my body and I could feel it:
Barefoot on my carpet
A tooth hidden in the fibers of its mouth
Buried itself in the sole of my foot;
It did not expect me to bite back—
The rabid dog sitting on its haunches.
In control of my body,
I can feel every prickle
Every pinprick
Every devastation—
O’, to be stronger is to feel
Then to release fear back into the world
In the form of a tooth lost in carpet.
TW: NSFW (BDSM)
My Tendencies Tend to Hurt:
Baby, let me hurt you
With all the consent my shaking hands can muster;
I won’t release until you say the word
Bound by those lips that only moan my name,
Can my fantasies really come to life?
I feel like the masochist
Every time you beg.
A predator recognizes a predator
But they also can pick out prey
And I see bliss in your eyes at my smile.
Keep looking at me like that baby
The only time I can be selfish
Is with my nails in your flesh,
My teeth against your neck,
Wrapped up and smothered in our sheets.
I’m so used to seeing a monster in the mirror,
But I feel wings sprouting as I see a savior in your eyes.
I’ve never before that hurt could feel so good,
I’m drowning just like you are
Both feeling pain transformed into pleasure.
Kailyn Frederick, also known as K.G. Freddi (she/they), is a 22-year-old fresh college graduate. Currently coping with this transition through unrelated means: writing poetry about sexuality, body horror, love, obsession, and self-identity. Thank you for reading!