Samantha Carr
ET Wanted to Phone Home
He used a Speak and Spell to
call across a galaxy of
unfazed stars. My device,
its big brother – thinks
of itself as sophisticated,
yet, I can’t get through to
the doctor’s surgery.
ET got homesick – fading like
the dying sun of his birth,
my birth flower is chrysanthemum
but I won’t let his torched finger
touch me – I’m allergic
to regeneration. We count spaceships
together, waiting for pollen.
Telekinesis lifted their bikes
into empty skies, the music
tells us we should feel relieved,
except what goes up must
return with gravity’s thrust,
like the first stand in the morning
when the joints disassemble.
Chronic Fatigue Cento
It becomes strange indeed that illness
has not taken its place with love ¹,
with Chronic Illness, you can have
all the perks that you have ever wished
for ².
The army of the upright marches to
battle ³ - lie down. Sleep. Rest. Rest.
Rest ⁴. They call me and I go ⁵. That’s
the sinking-sand-tug sucking at my
limbs ⁶.
A true chaos story cannot be told ⁷.
Move forward with feebler and
feebler effort ⁸, when my joints
and muscles merely ache, they’re
feeling better than usual ⁹.
That all this torment at least has a
name ¹⁰. I would stand if I could get
a grip on something more solid than
undulating air ¹¹, it was terrible, what
the body told ¹².
___________________
¹ Woolf, V. On Being Ill. (London: Renard Press, 1926), p.8
² Bolton, S. ‘Terms and Conditions’ In Mackelden, A and Jaggard, D (Eds). The Emma Press Anthology of Illness. (The Emma Press. Birmingham, 2020), p.1
³ Woolf, V. On Being Ill. p.19
⁴ Fox, L. ‘Trapped’ In Mackelden, A and Jaggard, D (Eds). The Emma Press Anthology of Illness, p.37
⁵ Williams, W C. ‘Complaint’ In Dyar, Martin (Ed). Vital Signs Poems of Illness and Healing. (Dublin: Poetry Ireland, 2022), p.39
⁶ Richards, H. ‘Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome’ In Mackelden, A and Jaggard, D (Eds). The Emma Press Anthology of Illness, p.46
⁷ Frank, A W. The Wounded Storyteller Body, Illness and Ethics. Second Edition. (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 2013), p.105
⁸ Smyth, G. ‘Daytime Sleeper’ In Dyar, Martin (Ed). Vital Signs Poems of Illness and Healing, p.111
⁹ Skloot, F. The Night-Side, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and The Illness Experience. (Ontario: Story Line Press, 1996), p.5
¹⁰ Holub, M. Vanishing Lung Syndrome. (Boston: Faber and Faber, 1990), p.52
¹¹ Skloot, F. ‘The Onset of Vertigo’ In Salcman, M. Poetry in Medicine. An Anthology of Poems About Doctors, Patients, Illness, and Healing. (New York: Persea Books, 2015), p.63
¹² Campo, R. Comfort Measures Only. (Durham: Duke University Press, 2018), p. 47
Asthma Cento
Our lungs
an abacus of beads ¹,
your lungs, your lungs,
your pretty pink lungs ²,
these lungs are meat wings
in a flap on steepening
subway stairs ³. The small
boy has a flock of birds let
loose inside his chest ⁴, a black,
talking bird, a raven ⁵. Cracks
like the crunch of a beetle
underfoot ⁶; The silence
before creation began ⁷, then
out his stethoscope he took ⁸,
how I once loved the eosinophil ⁹.
Mend it doctor ¹⁰.
_________________________
¹ Goddard, G. ‘Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease’. In Mackelden, A and Jaggard, D (Eds). The Emma Press Anthology of Illness. (The Emma Press. Birmingham, 2020), p.25
² Chonchuir, Nuala Ni. ‘Pink Lungs’ In Dyar, Martin (Ed). Vital Signs Poems of Illness and Healing. (Dublin: Poetry Ireland, 2022), p.79
³ Winch, A. ‘Occupational Therapist’ In Mackelden, A and Jaggard, D (Eds). The Emma Press Anthology of Illness, p.48
⁴ Colquhoun, G. Playing God. (New Zealand: Steele Roberts, 2002), p.52
⁵ Holub, M. Vanishing Lung Syndrome. (Boston: Faber and Faber, 1990), p.46
⁶ Alland, S, Barokka, K and Sluman, D (Eds). Stairs and Whispers. (Rugby: Nine Arches Press, 2017), p.44
⁷ Abse, D. ‘The Stethoscope’ In Salcman, M. Poetry in Medicine. An Anthology of Poems About Doctors, Patients, Illness, and Healing. (New York: Persea Books, 2015), p. 131
⁸ Holmes, O W. ‘The Stethoscope Song’ In Wagner, C and Brown, A. A Body of Work An Anthology of Poetry and Medicine. (London: Bloomsbury, 2016), p.323-326
⁹ Campo, R. Comfort Measures Only. (Durham: Duke University Press, 2018) p. 146
¹⁰ Holub, Miroslav. ‘Casualty’ In Dyar, Martin (Ed). Vital Signs Poems of Illness and Healing. , p.90
Samantha is based in Plymouth, UK and is a PhD Creative Writing candidate at the University of Plymouth where her work explores complex chronic illness, parenting and poetry. Her poetry has been published in Acumen, Arc, Room, Cephalopress and The Storms Journal.